‘Til Tuesday – Voices Carry

Is this song scary? When I was young, I thought so. I thought the singer was either singing "Voice so scary" or "Voice is scary". I wondered, what is scary about the voice? Is that why she should keep it down?

I try so hard not to get upset
Because I know all the trouble I'll get
Oh, he tells me tears are something to hide
And something to fear
And I try so hard to keep it inside
So no one can hear

The lyrics of this song are unsettling. This chick is genuinely afraid of her boyfriend. She is frightened of what her boyfriend is thinking. Her boyfriend (for some reason) doesn’t want others to know that she loves him, even telling her to hush, keep it down, even to shut up. What is the problem? Is she a hag?

This person is seriously obsessed with doing some horizontal jogging with the object of their obsession. He is so obsessed he can’t sleep. Obsession has consumed his soul, and he has lost all control. He even wants to collect and capture his obsession like a butterfly. But is his affection what it seems?

My fantasy has turned to madness
All my goodness has turned to badness
My need to possess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling, I have no control

I think this obsession definitely qualifies as unhealthy (not a healthy obsession, such as eating vegetables). Stranger beware!

At first blush, this song sounds pretty straightforward. A teen has a crush and has been jilted. The singer is advising them that this seems like a big deal now, but in the years to come it won’t seem so bad. However, what to make of the following lyrics?

I’ll buy you first good wine
We’ll have a real good time
Save your cryin’ for the day

Is this person offering alcohol to a minor? What are their intentions? Forget knocking her crown, I think he is going to be knocking her up! Newborn eyes cry, indeed. Fool if you think this is an innocent offer.

I want to love you (P.Y.T.)
Pretty young thing
You need some lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender lovin' care
And I'll take you there

This song is not in itself creepy, but considering what we know now about Michael Jackson, him singing about wanting to get with a pretty young thing gives me the willies!

I was born the son of a lawless man.
Always spoke my mind with a gun in my hand.
Lived nine lives
Gunned down ten
Gonna ride like the wind.

This song romanticizes running from the law and fleeing to Mexico after killing 10 people. Really. That is what the song is about. What does Christopher Cross of all people need to run from the law for? Has his mediocre music been officially declared criminal? I wonder what he is riding? I think a horse.

Is it too much to ask a girl to love you unconditionally after you have lifted her from the obscurity of a cocktail waitress to a successful woman with the world at her feet? That is the musical question posed by this song. This fellow is downright threatening though:

But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too.
…
It's much too late to find
When you think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

What is this guy's plan? Rat on her to her current boss and bust her back down to serving drinks and getting slapped on the rear? How would that even work?

Let’s leave out the obvious reference to death (closing your eyes forever). Check out some of the lyrics to this “love song”:

You're like a dagger
And stick me in the heart
And taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep, would you shelter me
In your warm and darkened grave?

Melts the heart, doesn’t it? What a sweet talker! I think these lines would only work on Morticia Addams.

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Ill be watching you

This song is essentially a stalker’s manual. The person being watched cannot take a breath, a step, and presumably a dump without being watched. I hope the person doesn’t have shy kidneys, or this could get messy. By the way, every claim you stake? Did we really need a fourth "ake" rhyme?

The title alone would merit its inclusion in this list. Eyes without a face? That is the stuff of horror movies. But the lyrics get even worse:

I'm on a bus on a psychedelic trip
Reading murder books tryin' to stay hip.
I'm thinkin' of you you're out there so
Say your prayers…

What are murder books? Better question, what are "hip" murder books? In any event, time to take out a restraining order on this guy.

A few stolen moments is all that we share
You've got your family and they need you there
Though I've tried to resist being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do
So I've saving all my love for you

This is a love song from the point of view of the ‘other woman’. Quite happy in her role as home-wrecker, she spends her days waiting for the next time her paramour can make a flimsy excuse to the mother of his children so he can knock boots with this floozy. Not scary creepy, but immoral creepy.

Duran Duran – Hungry Like the Wolf

Another unhealthy level of obsession is displayed in this song.

I'm on the hunt I'm after you.
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Is this person looking for love or looking for a bite to eat? How can a mouth be alive, or more alive than the rest of the body? The video for this song raises the creepiness factor on this song. Guys running around in bad makeup is just wrong.

At first blush, this is a happy go lucky song with no reason to be on this list. But a closer examination of the lyrics appears to paint a darker picture:

There's a fire that's been burning right outside my door
I can't see, but I feel it, and it helps to keep me warm
…
I can't come out to find you, I don't like to go outside
They can turn off my feelings like they're turning off the light
…
But I've been a prisoner all my life, and I can see you
But I don't remember - take, take me home

This poor dude is clearly off his rocker! Imagining fires where there are none, under heavy medication to suppress his emotions, and basically locked in a padded cell. I don't blame him for wanting to be taken home.

The anthem for pedophiles, with such lyrics as:

Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind.

Ick. They certainly have a knack for coming up with lyrics that are wildly inappropriate. Maybe Michael Jackson should cover this song!

And the song at the top of the creepy 80's song list?

Gino Vannelli – Wild Horses

First, let me print the lyrics in their entirety:

As the sun goes down on the Arizona plain
And the wind whistles by like a runaway train
Hey hey hey it's a beautiful thing
Well it's me and you and a flatbed truck
My heart kicking over like a whitetail buck
Hey hey hey in the middle of spring

You can cut me deep
You can cut me down
You can cut me loose
Don't you know it's okay
You can kick and scream
You can slap my face
You can set my wheels on a high speed chase
Hey no matter what you do

Wild horses could not drag me away from you
Wild horses could not drag me away from you

As the sky falls down from the midnight blue
Spittin' like bullets on a hot tin roof
Hey hey hey it's a beautiful sound
Well it's me and you in a flatbed truck
In a foot of mud just my luck
Hey hey hey a hundred miles out of town

You can call me a fool
You can call me blind
You can call it quits
Can't hear a word you say
Cause if I had you once
I'm gonna have you twice
I'm gonna follow my heart instead of good advice
Hey no matter what you do

Wild horses could not drag me away from you
Wild horses could not drag me away from you

What is with this guy? He has brought this girl on a spring day during a rainstorm, 100 miles out of town in the middle of nowhere, and is now stuck in the mud in a flatbed truck. It doesn’t matter what she does (kick, scream, slap, call him names, etc.). He has had her once and he is going to have her twice. This song is wrong on so many levels! The guy definitely comes off as a serial killer. Hopefully the cops will succeed where the wild horses have failed.