Here we go again...
I mentioned in a previous blog post that Dimension Films has picked up the rights to remake Short Circuit, the very average 80′s comedy about a robot with a central processing unit of gold. I guess they think lightning will strike twice (get it? no? read the plot summaries below). I didn’t think this was a good idea at the time, and I still don’t, but now I have another reason to dread this film.
Two reasons, actually.
Reason the first: Steve “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” Carr has been attached to direct the film. To be fair, I haven’t seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but I have the uncanny ability to tell how good a movie is going to be based on the trailer. And I saw the trailer to Paul Blart: Mall Cop. That is not a good movie. I’m sure it’s OK. But it isn’t good. If that wasn’t enough (and it is), this is also the director behind such schlock as Daddy Day Care, Are We Done Yet?, and Dr. Dolittle 2. Be afraid…be very afraid.
Reason the second: they are goofing with the plot. Assuming you aren’t familiar with the plot to the original movie (shame on you!), here it is from IMDB.com: “Number 5, one of a group of experimental military robots, undergoes a sudden transformation after being struck by lightning. He develops self-awareness, consciousness, and a fear of the reprogramming that awaits him back at the factory. With the help of a young woman, Number 5 tries to evade capture and convince his creator that he has truly become alive.”
Now, here is the summary of the plot for the remake: “Built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon, Johnny 5 develops a conscience and personality after being hit by lightning. He befriends a lonely boy and his fractured family.” This does not sound promising. While the original movie was no prize, this has the potential to be considerably worse. I don’t need a Harry and the Henderson’s with a robot standing in for the sasquatch. I don’t need an E.T. with a robot standing in for the alien. And let’s face it: nothing runis a movie faster than a terrible child actor.
Based on these reasons, I don’t think I’ll be seeing this film in the theater. Unless Fisher Stevens reprises his character ‘Abu’ from the original two films. His character has become a running joke between myself and some friends, so it would be worth going to the theater on opening day just to yell out random things at the scream in Abu’s accent. “We will be letting roll the good times, I assure you!”
